Divine Will for every day of the year - February 28, 1899 Volume 2

I confess the truth, I feel great repugnance; the effort I have to make in order to conquer myself is so great that the Lord alone can know the torture of my soul. But, oh holy obedience, what a powerful bond you are! You alone could win over me, and surpassing all my repugnance, almost impassable mountains, you bind me to the Will of God and of the confessor. But, please, O Holy Spouse, as great as my sacrifice is, so much help do I need; I want nothing but that You hold me in your arms and sustain me. In this way, assisted by You, I will be able to say only the truth, only for your glory, and to my confusion.

This morning, since the confessor celebrated Mass, I also received Communion. My mind was in a sea of confusion because of this obedience that the confessor gave me, to write everything that passes in my interior. As I received Jesus, I began to tell Him of my pains, especially my insufficiency, and many other things. But Jesus did not seem to care about this thing of mine, and did not answer to anything. A light came to my mind, and I said: “Who knows whether I myself am the cause for which Jesus is not showing Himself as usual.” So, with all my heart, I said to Him: “O please! My Good and my All, don’t show Yourself so indifferent with me – You make my heart split with pain. If it is because of the writing – let it be, let it be, even if it cost me the sacrifice of my life, I promise I will do it!” Then Jesus changed appearance and, all benign, He told me: “What do you fear? Have I not assisted you the other times? My Light will surround you everywhere, and so you will be able to manifest it.”

Purity of intention.

While He was saying this, I don’t know how, I saw the confessor near Jesus; and the Lord told him: “See, everything you do passes into Heaven. Therefore, see with what purity you must operate, thinking that all of your steps, words and works come before My Presence, and if they are pure – that is, if they are done for Me – I take greatest delight in them and I feel them around Me like many messengers that remind Me continuously of you. But if they are done for low and earthly purposes, I feel bothered by them.” And as He was saying this, He seemed to grab His Hands, and raising them up to Heaven, He said to him: “Your eyes always on high; you are of Heaven – work for Heaven!”

While I was seeing the confessor, and Jesus saying this to him, in my mind it seemed to me that if one operated in that way, it would happen as to a person who has to leave one house to move to another. What does he do? First he sends all of his things and everything he possesses, and then he goes himself. In the same way, we first send our works to take a place for us in Heaven, and then, when our time comes, we go ourselves. Oh, what a beautiful cortege they will make for us! …